person: i like you
peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
chris-noth: today on the bus all the little middle schoolers were talking and one of them was like “can we stop arguing about the bass?” AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AT THE EXACT SAME TIME SAID “JUST DROP IT” AND STARTED WUBBING IM LAUGHING FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARs.
shannananan: mercimonamie: i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once. oh my god you managed to one up john green.
clever-one-word-url: GUYS MY 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAS JUST TELLING BE ABOUT HOW HE KNOWS EVERY GUY’S CRUSH IN HIS CLASS AND H KEEPS TRACK OF IT SO THAT IF A GUY GETS A NEW CRUSH HE GOES AND CALLS THE GIRL AND LETS HER KNOW. HE LITERALLY USED THE PHRASE “I’M IN THE BUSINESS”. GUYS MY BROTHER IS A 5TH GRADE PIMP